Thanks. We have just completed a full frontal optical scan. We've cloned your unique retinal cell layout and uploaded your image to our servers. Within the next three minutes, we will run an FBI identity check and cross reference all findings with the Wisconsin branch of the KGB.
If you are “Wanted” we will turn you in and collect the bounty. If you’re unwanted, you have our sympathy. Don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone. They just haven’t found you yet.
How does JesseJames Creative protect customer information?
Logan, guard dog extraordinaire, is on the case providing round the clock protection for our customers’ information. Logan is very dedicated to his mission. And he loves rope toys.
What are cookies and what do they do?
Cookies are a delicious baked good. Available in a variety of flavors ranging from chocolate chip to oatmeal raisin to oatmeal chocolate chip. Frosted cookies such as the “black and white” and the cream-filled “sandwich cookie” are also quite tasty. All will make you fat. Beyond that, we’re not saying.
Will JesseJames Creative share the information it collects with outside parties?
Absolutely. We’ll sell your information to the highest bidder at the drop of a hat. And we don’t just mean to folks compiling mailing lists. We’ll sell it to anyone. Space aliens in search of a citizenship. Mobster turncoats looking for a fresh start. Mad scientists in need of identities for their secret army of cloned humans. Or Mark Zuckerberg. You name it. If they’ve got the cash, we’ll sell you out faster than you can say “Give me back my life.”
How does JesseJames Creative protect the privacy of minors?
JesseJames is committed to protecting the privacy of impressionable young children. Which is why when we catch one doing goofy things on YouTube, we tell no one. We respect their privacy.
Have a nice day. And by the way...nice shoes.
By using our website, you consent to the collection and use of your private information by JesseJames Creative, Inc. and all of its subsidiaries worldwide. You consent to enter into a long-term, retainer-based relationship with JesseJames Creative. You consent to a series of painless psychological experiments including, but not limited to studies involving sleep deprivation, phobia confrontation and the effects of subliminal advertising.
We hate those annoying little opt-in boxes, so we'll just assume that since you're shaking your head, that's a yes.